Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
