Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize