ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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