this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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