i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize