i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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