I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize