Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
