I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
