There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
