respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
