But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's blow job season.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
