so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just found puke in my bra..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
