and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
