He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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