office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
