My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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