Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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