Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
