I CAN MOONWALK!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
