i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
