You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
