I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
