Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
