I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
