Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize