I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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