the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
