I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
