dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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