No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize