also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
