So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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