he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
