Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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