Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
