He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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