Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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