Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
