I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
