I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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