i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
