it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
