Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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