I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
