Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer