I think i peed on brittanys purse
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
