no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
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My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire