Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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  (817): you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar. http://tfl.nu/9tne
  Replies (16) Good night (3071) Bad night (653)
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  (925): View more from California

  We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?

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  (925): We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation? http://tfl.nu/efhg
  Replies (37) Good night (2879) Bad night (2660)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

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  (262): i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head http://tfl.nu/xp32
  Replies (22) Good night (4723) Bad night (1097)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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  (765): i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring http://tfl.nu/hl5v
  Replies (13) Good night (1077) Bad night (6025)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.

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  (617): After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left. http://tfl.nu/2zbc
  Replies (1) Good night (5199) Bad night (888)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  No. It just means your good at giving head.

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  (605): Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head? (1-605): No. It just means your good at giving head. http://tfl.nu/6xkt
  Replies (22) Good night (4149) Bad night (1169)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.

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  (618): My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has. http://tfl.nu/36lp
  Replies (11) Good night (6854) Bad night (1716)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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  (239): dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me. http://tfl.nu/b0dd
  Replies (15) Good night (4323) Bad night (1142)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Threesome in a minivan. New low

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  (907): Threesome in a minivan. New low http://tfl.nu/igpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1829) Bad night (990)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here

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  (240): Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here http://tfl.nu/mwmy
  Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (740)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.

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  (248): I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right. http://tfl.nu/unzg
  Replies (10) Good night (1620) Bad night (785)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.

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  (219): I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/9drc
  Replies (19) Good night (1919) Bad night (991)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.

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  (402): Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal. http://tfl.nu/0e3u
  Replies (9) Good night (1355) Bad night (689)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?

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  (914): Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion? http://tfl.nu/d942
  Replies (0) Good night (787) Bad night (678)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (909)

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