The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
