Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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  (406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1776) Bad night (813)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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  (410): a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out http://tfl.nu/89tu
  Replies (40) Good night (1870) Bad night (7530)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4411) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4493) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.

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  (619): Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me. http://tfl.nu/28u5
  Replies (23) Good night (995) Bad night (4200)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.

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  (202): Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this. http://tfl.nu/0xw5
  Replies (7) Good night (3193) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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  (519): I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex http://tfl.nu/b3wh
  Replies (15) Good night (1210) Bad night (2513)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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  (217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult
  Replies (2) Good night (1512) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I love your life.

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  (631): Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad. (1-631): I love your life. http://tfl.nu/sy8e
  Replies (10) Good night (1944) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.

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  (412): Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober. http://tfl.nu/2dqx
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.

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  (607): I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts. http://tfl.nu/406u
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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  (601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"

  (917): View more from New York City

  Rigtt?!

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  (718): I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts" (917): Rigtt?! http://tfl.nu/6krm
  Replies (0) Good night (653) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.

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  (904): I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day. http://tfl.nu/ua14
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You jumped into so many bushes for no reason

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  (845): You jumped into so many bushes for no reason http://tfl.nu/2wkq
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (259)

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