Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
