I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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