So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
