I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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