If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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