Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Michael Bay diarrhea
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
