Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
