last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
