I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
