she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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