Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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