my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
