Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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